Escaping from Nothing | Chapter 11: Think to Forget
On the way back, I kept thinking of Niann. I knew Niann and Delise lived near each other and they were close friends. But I felt like I was intruding someone, or something, or crossing the line, once again.
I did not know if Niann told Delise about our cab ride home that late night, or if Delise cared more about Niann than as a friend. I just… felt like a third party weirdly chiming into their lives.
I never had great romantic relationships with anyone. I felt inadequate and insecure in all of them. I know I shouldn’t think that way, but it was stuck in my brain.
Then I suddenly remembered my friend request to Niann.
I did not know whether I should look at it straight away… maybe I shouldn’t…
I could not resist the urge and logged onto my social network to check…
There were no acceptances of friendship requests whatsoever.
I lied in bed.
I was certainly overthinking.
I overestimated my ability to get someone to think of me, and my influence on some random stranger.
He really was a random stranger after all.
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I felt and heard my phone vibrating on my side desk.
I looked at the clock and it was damn 1:52am.
I must have forgotten to switch off the Wi-Fi connection on my phone and it was sending me stupid notifications.
I breathed in and out, then looked at my phone.
I was surprised to see I had a new message.
From Niann.
My heart pounded a little.
“Hey, how did you find me? Anyways, thank you for caring for Delise. She is much better now,” He wrote.
Did he stay with her overnight? I felt sad suddenly, but I did not know if I really should feel that way.
“That sounds great! I am glad she is alright now,” I wrote back.
I did not really care for a response, since he didn’t really need to give me one. I also completely ignored his initial question to avoid a chance of making it awkward.
I searched all over the internet to find his profile, and I, obviously, did not want to tell him that.
Unexpectedly, he gave me a prompt reply.
“Yeah, I just led her to her apartment and going back to mine now. I am sorry for disturbing you at this hour. I hope my message didn’t wake you up. I didn’t expect you to reply right away.”
I smiled.
He was, indeed, a pretty nice person who cared about other people’s well-being.
“It is alright. No problem. Good night!”
“Good night!”
I switched off my phone.
I needed to take a break from him, or from anything similar.
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I was sitting in a cafeteria, waiting for someone.
I didn’t know who I was waiting for, but I knew I was waiting for someone.
I saw someone walking in and immediately acknowledged him as the person I was waiting for.
He bent down, lifted my chin up and kissed me gently on my lips. Then he sat down in front of me.
He smiled brightly, a smile only Niann possessed.
I looked at him fondly, but then realised Delise was beside us, standing, looking at us.
Delise sat next to Niann and he kissed her on the cheeks.
She smiled brightly.
I got angry, “Who am I to you?”
Niann did not say a thing.
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I woke up gently from the warmth of the sunlight.
Well, it was just another bizarre dream.
Another bizarre dream about Niann.
I got up and turned my phone back on.
I received a notification and saw a new message he left for me.
“Do you want to meet up sometime? Are you free today, lunch time?”
I was shocked. I never expected that to happen.
It was a Tuesday, and there were not that many scheduled shoots.
I looked at the clock and realised it was already 8am.
“Damn it,” I shouted, and hurriedly get ready.
I could not believe the alarm didn’t wake me up. For a planner like me, that was unacceptable.
I came around and got to the office on time, but I had to immediately start on our very first job.
“They are coming at 9:30am. We have to move it, move it, and MOVE it!” My supervisor yelled, as I put down my bag and ran to the studio.
I quickly helped move the lights and equipment to set up.
Soon the day passed, and work made me forget about Niann entirely.
I rode the bus home, and suddenly remembered Niann’s message.
It was nearly 6pm and certainly will be too late to have lunch with him.
“I am sorry, I got caught up. Yes, we should go out sometime. When will you be free?” I wrote, anxious for his reply.
I didn’t get a reply until I was on my apartment’s front doorstep.
“That is alright! I understand work can get busy sometimes. How about tomorrow at lunch time, will you be free?”
“Yes.”
I then thought for a second and realised I had work. Plus, my lunch time was not set, and work times could get unpredictable.
“Oh wait, sorry, I mean no. I do not have a set lunch time and usually eat on the go.”
“Oh ok.”
I thought the conversation would just end there, but he continued writing.
“How about dinner?”
I looked at my calendar and decided the best time would be Friday.
“Yes. Would Friday be alright with you?”
“Yeah. Should I meet you at a restaurant? Or would you like me to pick you up?”
“You can pick me up if that’s alright with you. My work will hopefully end at 5pm on that day,” I typed.
“Sure! See you then!”
I put down my phone and thought to myself as I walked up to my apartment.
Why would he suddenly want to go out and eat with me?
We didn’t really talk and know one another. It appeared to me that all of our encounters ended badly. There was no reason for us to hang out whatsoever.
Anyhow, that happened, and we did not seem to end our interactions from there.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
©Yolanda Yip (Wintsarye)
I did not know if Niann told Delise about our cab ride home that late night, or if Delise cared more about Niann than as a friend. I just… felt like a third party weirdly chiming into their lives.
I never had great romantic relationships with anyone. I felt inadequate and insecure in all of them. I know I shouldn’t think that way, but it was stuck in my brain.
Then I suddenly remembered my friend request to Niann.
I did not know whether I should look at it straight away… maybe I shouldn’t…
I could not resist the urge and logged onto my social network to check…
There were no acceptances of friendship requests whatsoever.
I lied in bed.
I was certainly overthinking.
I overestimated my ability to get someone to think of me, and my influence on some random stranger.
He really was a random stranger after all.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I felt and heard my phone vibrating on my side desk.
I looked at the clock and it was damn 1:52am.
I must have forgotten to switch off the Wi-Fi connection on my phone and it was sending me stupid notifications.
I breathed in and out, then looked at my phone.
I was surprised to see I had a new message.
From Niann.
My heart pounded a little.
“Hey, how did you find me? Anyways, thank you for caring for Delise. She is much better now,” He wrote.
Did he stay with her overnight? I felt sad suddenly, but I did not know if I really should feel that way.
“That sounds great! I am glad she is alright now,” I wrote back.
I did not really care for a response, since he didn’t really need to give me one. I also completely ignored his initial question to avoid a chance of making it awkward.
I searched all over the internet to find his profile, and I, obviously, did not want to tell him that.
Unexpectedly, he gave me a prompt reply.
“Yeah, I just led her to her apartment and going back to mine now. I am sorry for disturbing you at this hour. I hope my message didn’t wake you up. I didn’t expect you to reply right away.”
I smiled.
He was, indeed, a pretty nice person who cared about other people’s well-being.
“It is alright. No problem. Good night!”
“Good night!”
I switched off my phone.
I needed to take a break from him, or from anything similar.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was sitting in a cafeteria, waiting for someone.
I didn’t know who I was waiting for, but I knew I was waiting for someone.
I saw someone walking in and immediately acknowledged him as the person I was waiting for.
He bent down, lifted my chin up and kissed me gently on my lips. Then he sat down in front of me.
He smiled brightly, a smile only Niann possessed.
I looked at him fondly, but then realised Delise was beside us, standing, looking at us.
Delise sat next to Niann and he kissed her on the cheeks.
She smiled brightly.
I got angry, “Who am I to you?”
Niann did not say a thing.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I woke up gently from the warmth of the sunlight.
Well, it was just another bizarre dream.
Another bizarre dream about Niann.
I got up and turned my phone back on.
I received a notification and saw a new message he left for me.
“Do you want to meet up sometime? Are you free today, lunch time?”
I was shocked. I never expected that to happen.
It was a Tuesday, and there were not that many scheduled shoots.
I looked at the clock and realised it was already 8am.
“Damn it,” I shouted, and hurriedly get ready.
I could not believe the alarm didn’t wake me up. For a planner like me, that was unacceptable.
I came around and got to the office on time, but I had to immediately start on our very first job.
“They are coming at 9:30am. We have to move it, move it, and MOVE it!” My supervisor yelled, as I put down my bag and ran to the studio.
I quickly helped move the lights and equipment to set up.
Soon the day passed, and work made me forget about Niann entirely.
I rode the bus home, and suddenly remembered Niann’s message.
It was nearly 6pm and certainly will be too late to have lunch with him.
“I am sorry, I got caught up. Yes, we should go out sometime. When will you be free?” I wrote, anxious for his reply.
I didn’t get a reply until I was on my apartment’s front doorstep.
“That is alright! I understand work can get busy sometimes. How about tomorrow at lunch time, will you be free?”
“Yes.”
I then thought for a second and realised I had work. Plus, my lunch time was not set, and work times could get unpredictable.
“Oh wait, sorry, I mean no. I do not have a set lunch time and usually eat on the go.”
“Oh ok.”
I thought the conversation would just end there, but he continued writing.
“How about dinner?”
I looked at my calendar and decided the best time would be Friday.
“Yes. Would Friday be alright with you?”
“Yeah. Should I meet you at a restaurant? Or would you like me to pick you up?”
“You can pick me up if that’s alright with you. My work will hopefully end at 5pm on that day,” I typed.
“Sure! See you then!”
I put down my phone and thought to myself as I walked up to my apartment.
Why would he suddenly want to go out and eat with me?
We didn’t really talk and know one another. It appeared to me that all of our encounters ended badly. There was no reason for us to hang out whatsoever.
Anyhow, that happened, and we did not seem to end our interactions from there.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
©Yolanda Yip (Wintsarye)
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