Escaping from Nothing | Chapter 12: I’d Like to See You
It was Friday.
I felt anxious as the clock ticked to 5pm.
I heard someone at the counter and thought it might be Niann. I did not want to rush out and scare him, so I remained in my position.
I waited for a bit until 5:05pm, finished off all my work, then left slowly.
It was indeed Niann, sitting at the sofa near the counter, waiting.
“Hey!” He said.
“Hey,” I smiled.
“Let’s go.”
We walked out and decided where we should have our dinner. Then, I asked him my burning question.
“Why did you want to go out with me? I mean, not all of our encounters have been pleasant and there is not really a reason and…” I was lost for words as he smiled at me.
“Well, you seemed like a pretty decent person, even though a bit stalkerish, maybe,” He laughed, “I felt like you will be really nice to hang out with and since you somehow found me on social media, I thought we could be friends then.”
“Oh cool.”
“Yeah, I just felt like we could make our friendship actually work, since we had a few encounters after all.”
I smiled, “Maybe this is what life calls for. Just someone you can talk to and get to know, from a stranger to a friend.”
He smiled, “Yes. I don’t have a lot of friends and you seemed like a possible good friend. So, we can go from there.”
“So, it may go as some sort of experimental project?”
He laughed, “Yes, you can think of it that way.”
He looked at me and smiled.
“I really want to make this work. You seem different, and I would like to get to know you better.”
“Well, everyone is different in their own ways,” I smiled back, hiding my excitement.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We arrived at a reasonably priced restaurant, sat down, looked at the menu and ordered our respective meals.
After the waiter walked away, Niann smiled at me.
I smiled back, and said, “On your point of not having many friends, I wanted to say that I don’t have many friends as well.”
He looked at me, amused, “I cannot imagine you not having many friends considering how nice and easy going you are.”
I smiled, “Well, that really does go back to what you define as a ‘friend’.”
He shrugged, “A friend to me is just someone you can connect with and talk to, to some degree.”
I laughed, “I don’t know a lot of people who I can connect with, really. But I do enjoy listening to a lot of people, and people like talking to me.”
He laughed, “So you are a good listener.”
“Yes, I would say so.”
“Maybe I didn’t find the wrong person for a friend then.”
I smiled.
“And I feel like I already have a connection with you...in some way. I don’t know how to explain it,” He said, tilting his head to the side.
I really liked watching him do that, but that did not distract me from his statement.
I do have a connection with you, in my dreams, even before we met.
“Well, everyone is connected in a way, perhaps. We are all homo-sapiens, living in this built world,” I gestured to other people in the restaurant, not showing a sign of despair from my lack of courage to tell him about my dreams and the reason behind why I wanted to know his name in the first place…
“You are pretty much right,” He said, sipping a glass of water.
I sipped on my glass of water, pausing my thoughts.
“You know, I don’t have a lot of female friends either. Maybe that is why I wanted to be friends with you,” He said, pausing a bit, “I never really had a relationship.”
“Ahh.”
“I am still single you see.”
I nodded lightly in acknowledgment, sipping on my glass of water.
“What about you?”
I was intrigued by his question. I never really get asked about myself, other than my name. People like to talk to me, but not with me.
“Well… I would say that I am socially adequate, but I am simply a good listener and not really a good talker.”
“I think a lot of people would argue with you on that, including me,” He said, partially winking at me.
“Maybe only my best friends can hear me talk a lot. Or else, other people would usually see me in my awkward and quiet state.”
“In my opinion, I think you are very approachable and nice. You are not playing hard to get or unnecessary games.”
I stared at him, wondering what he meant.
“Well, playing hard to get in a way that you are trying to pretend you are not interested in order to make people want to talk to you more. Obtaining attention by faking disinterest in a manipulative way. Either emotionally, business wise, or romantically, giving people false hopes and expectations as such,” He explained.
“I never thought to play hard or easy to get. I do not think anyone has to be ‘gotten’ by people. As for me, if they want to talk to me, then they have my attention. I am a solid person, not someone for others to ‘get’,” I said, getting a little defensive.
“Oh, I am sorry I didn’t mean to…” He got a bit embarrassed, “I mean…you are very friendly, and people will feel secure around you. They will know that you are genuine, and that it will be safe to open up to you.”
I smiled, with my unknown anger fading away. He smiled back, relived.
“I feel safe around a crowd of people. I gain energy from being around people, but not necessarily talking to them.”
“The idea of presence I see,” He smiled, “I guess that is great. You get energy from being with people, and people get energy from talking to you.”
“You can put it that way.”
He smiled, paused for a bit, and said, “I had philosophy classes when I was in university. Talking to you brings me back to those times.”
I laughed, “Philosophy huh?”
He smiled, “What did you study in university?”
“I studied Public Relations.”
“Oh. That explains it,” He smiled, “You do like people, don’t you?”
“Yes,” I drank a bit more water.
The waiter came with our food, halting Niann from saying something.
After the waiter left, Niann said, “We better start eating.”
I looked down at my plate and started to eat, not saying a word.
After a while, Niann wanted to say something again, but halted himself between the lines.
When I looked up at him in confusion, he sighed, “I wanted to tell you something, and I hope this doesn’t come out weird.”
“Sure, what is it?”
“I wanted to say that, I never really opened up to anyone, let alone a stranger like you,” He said.
I was disappointed when the word ‘stranger’ came out of his mouth. But then I remembered, we were indeed strangers; the dreams were just mine, not shared.
“I do sometimes feel emotionally insecure, in some sense. I feel safe and comfortable when I talk to you. I somehow knew that I could trust you.”
“Thank you for your trust,” I replied.
He smiled at my reply and continued eating.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We spent the night talking about our perspectives and what we wanted to do with our lives, our dreams and hopes.
The topic of how I found him online was never brought up, neither did the reason why I wanted to get to know him.
I had a great night talking with him. He felt safe and secure around me. I felt his trust towards me, and I really appreciated that.
We left the restaurant afterwards and took a cab back. First my stop, then his.
He said goodbye to me as I got off the cab.
He smiled brightly at me as I waved back at him and saw the cab leave.
The night felt like a miracle to me, since I somehow didn’t manage to screw things up. I felt like this man wanted to be my friend, and I finally felt wanted and needed by someone.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
©Yolanda Yip (Wintsarye)
I felt anxious as the clock ticked to 5pm.
I heard someone at the counter and thought it might be Niann. I did not want to rush out and scare him, so I remained in my position.
I waited for a bit until 5:05pm, finished off all my work, then left slowly.
It was indeed Niann, sitting at the sofa near the counter, waiting.
“Hey!” He said.
“Hey,” I smiled.
“Let’s go.”
We walked out and decided where we should have our dinner. Then, I asked him my burning question.
“Why did you want to go out with me? I mean, not all of our encounters have been pleasant and there is not really a reason and…” I was lost for words as he smiled at me.
“Well, you seemed like a pretty decent person, even though a bit stalkerish, maybe,” He laughed, “I felt like you will be really nice to hang out with and since you somehow found me on social media, I thought we could be friends then.”
“Oh cool.”
“Yeah, I just felt like we could make our friendship actually work, since we had a few encounters after all.”
I smiled, “Maybe this is what life calls for. Just someone you can talk to and get to know, from a stranger to a friend.”
He smiled, “Yes. I don’t have a lot of friends and you seemed like a possible good friend. So, we can go from there.”
“So, it may go as some sort of experimental project?”
He laughed, “Yes, you can think of it that way.”
He looked at me and smiled.
“I really want to make this work. You seem different, and I would like to get to know you better.”
“Well, everyone is different in their own ways,” I smiled back, hiding my excitement.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We arrived at a reasonably priced restaurant, sat down, looked at the menu and ordered our respective meals.
After the waiter walked away, Niann smiled at me.
I smiled back, and said, “On your point of not having many friends, I wanted to say that I don’t have many friends as well.”
He looked at me, amused, “I cannot imagine you not having many friends considering how nice and easy going you are.”
I smiled, “Well, that really does go back to what you define as a ‘friend’.”
He shrugged, “A friend to me is just someone you can connect with and talk to, to some degree.”
I laughed, “I don’t know a lot of people who I can connect with, really. But I do enjoy listening to a lot of people, and people like talking to me.”
He laughed, “So you are a good listener.”
“Yes, I would say so.”
“Maybe I didn’t find the wrong person for a friend then.”
I smiled.
“And I feel like I already have a connection with you...in some way. I don’t know how to explain it,” He said, tilting his head to the side.
I really liked watching him do that, but that did not distract me from his statement.
I do have a connection with you, in my dreams, even before we met.
“Well, everyone is connected in a way, perhaps. We are all homo-sapiens, living in this built world,” I gestured to other people in the restaurant, not showing a sign of despair from my lack of courage to tell him about my dreams and the reason behind why I wanted to know his name in the first place…
“You are pretty much right,” He said, sipping a glass of water.
I sipped on my glass of water, pausing my thoughts.
“You know, I don’t have a lot of female friends either. Maybe that is why I wanted to be friends with you,” He said, pausing a bit, “I never really had a relationship.”
“Ahh.”
“I am still single you see.”
I nodded lightly in acknowledgment, sipping on my glass of water.
“What about you?”
I was intrigued by his question. I never really get asked about myself, other than my name. People like to talk to me, but not with me.
“Well… I would say that I am socially adequate, but I am simply a good listener and not really a good talker.”
“I think a lot of people would argue with you on that, including me,” He said, partially winking at me.
“Maybe only my best friends can hear me talk a lot. Or else, other people would usually see me in my awkward and quiet state.”
“In my opinion, I think you are very approachable and nice. You are not playing hard to get or unnecessary games.”
I stared at him, wondering what he meant.
“Well, playing hard to get in a way that you are trying to pretend you are not interested in order to make people want to talk to you more. Obtaining attention by faking disinterest in a manipulative way. Either emotionally, business wise, or romantically, giving people false hopes and expectations as such,” He explained.
“I never thought to play hard or easy to get. I do not think anyone has to be ‘gotten’ by people. As for me, if they want to talk to me, then they have my attention. I am a solid person, not someone for others to ‘get’,” I said, getting a little defensive.
“Oh, I am sorry I didn’t mean to…” He got a bit embarrassed, “I mean…you are very friendly, and people will feel secure around you. They will know that you are genuine, and that it will be safe to open up to you.”
I smiled, with my unknown anger fading away. He smiled back, relived.
“I feel safe around a crowd of people. I gain energy from being around people, but not necessarily talking to them.”
“The idea of presence I see,” He smiled, “I guess that is great. You get energy from being with people, and people get energy from talking to you.”
“You can put it that way.”
He smiled, paused for a bit, and said, “I had philosophy classes when I was in university. Talking to you brings me back to those times.”
I laughed, “Philosophy huh?”
He smiled, “What did you study in university?”
“I studied Public Relations.”
“Oh. That explains it,” He smiled, “You do like people, don’t you?”
“Yes,” I drank a bit more water.
The waiter came with our food, halting Niann from saying something.
After the waiter left, Niann said, “We better start eating.”
I looked down at my plate and started to eat, not saying a word.
After a while, Niann wanted to say something again, but halted himself between the lines.
When I looked up at him in confusion, he sighed, “I wanted to tell you something, and I hope this doesn’t come out weird.”
“Sure, what is it?”
“I wanted to say that, I never really opened up to anyone, let alone a stranger like you,” He said.
I was disappointed when the word ‘stranger’ came out of his mouth. But then I remembered, we were indeed strangers; the dreams were just mine, not shared.
“I do sometimes feel emotionally insecure, in some sense. I feel safe and comfortable when I talk to you. I somehow knew that I could trust you.”
“Thank you for your trust,” I replied.
He smiled at my reply and continued eating.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We spent the night talking about our perspectives and what we wanted to do with our lives, our dreams and hopes.
The topic of how I found him online was never brought up, neither did the reason why I wanted to get to know him.
I had a great night talking with him. He felt safe and secure around me. I felt his trust towards me, and I really appreciated that.
We left the restaurant afterwards and took a cab back. First my stop, then his.
He said goodbye to me as I got off the cab.
He smiled brightly at me as I waved back at him and saw the cab leave.
The night felt like a miracle to me, since I somehow didn’t manage to screw things up. I felt like this man wanted to be my friend, and I finally felt wanted and needed by someone.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
©Yolanda Yip (Wintsarye)
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