Wintsarye

I kept drinking at the bar. It seemed like me going there almost every Monday had led to the staff recognising my face and order. “You would like a beer?” The bartender said. I nodded. He smiled and went ahead with my order. Everything about Niann ended. I cut off all my connections with him, on social media at least. He never got my phone number, so it seemed easy on both of us. I never had real relationships, but this not-actual-relationship hurt me. Maybe it was because of the dreams, and all the commotion that was happening. Somehow this bar was either famous or a bar of convenience, as I saw someone walking towards me again. “Daryl,” She said. I looked up. She looked pretty, but tired with dark eye circles. She seemed thinner. “Jalila.” She sat next to me. She smiled, embarrassed. “I heard that you ran into Laver last time in this bar. So, I came to see if you will be here.” I tried to smile, “Well, here I am.” She wanted to smile and say something, but...

We met at a dining place nearby. I could not stop noticing the fact that even though all the decorations there were beautiful, they did not lighten my inner mood. I thought, and knew that our relationship would end anytime soon, because I would eventually try and cross the line. “So, how have you been?” He asked. I smiled, “I have been alright, just busy with work.” We hadn’t talk for quite a while. It was a Sunday and a long while since we last reached out to one another. It seemed like he liked to talk to me in person, maybe to balance out his life or just to feel better. Was I his remedy? Someone he could meet and feel better instantly? Either way, I knew he would not reciprocate my intimate feelings for him. The ones that developed from my countless dreams of him connecting intimately with me. I had to cut off our real-life interactions, or I could go crazy. I would mix up reality and my dreams. I did not want to lose him forever, in real life or otherwise. “I have bee...

The rest of lunch went on without circling back to that topic. It went alright, but it seemed like the vibe was not right. Afterwards, he walked me home and kissed my forehead to say goodbye. My heart felt a bit electrified, but I knew it was just a friendly gesture from him. I went back home, sat on my dining table, and placed my bag next to me. He told me that he could stop thinking about me and that he did not miss me because he was not an emotional person. Maybe that meant he could stop thinking about me altogether and he could forget about my existence completely, just like during the week that passed. Thinking about this made me feel uneasy. It made me realize how trivial I was to him. He could go on and look for other people, other girls, like the ones he worked with in his modelling company. It struck me, to think how replaceable I was and it all came down to feeling like absolutely nothing. He ...