Twist and Tear | Chapter 3: The Confession
I was never really an impulsive person, but somehow Keson changed this quality in me.
Was it good? Or was it bad? I don’t really know.
I just know I was then standing outside the convenience store, broken deep inside, possibly desperate for love.
Keson was a kind and caring person, but did that mean he will like me in return?
It didn’t seem possible. I was just a customer who visited the store he worked in, and he probably just had to be nice. Maybe I wanted to turn his image in my mind into reality too badly.
I don’t even know. At that very moment, I felt like if I didn’t confess, I will regret my whole life (more realistically, it will just be for a while but it will still have a big impact on me).
I stepped into the store and Keson was not on duty. I went towards the back of the store and didn’t see him walking around there either.
My courage was fading, but then I saw him walk out of the storage room.
I could not support myself. I was slipping away, but I still managed to hear him say ‘hi’.
“I like you and I just wanted to tell you that. Even though I don’t really know you, I could not stop thinking about you. This is all coming very suddenly, but I just wanted you to know,” I quickly said, trying to sound coherent and on the verge of failing to do so.
He was shocked, like any normal human being would be. He was carrying a box. He put it down, and looked like he wanted to say something.
“Please don’t hurt me, I am leaving now,” I said, scared, and beginning to sprint out of the store.
I was really hoping for a rejection from him, to stop all the ongoing nonsense, since it is absolutely irrational to fall in love with a stranger you just met 3 times.
But then I didn’t want to hear his rejection because I knew I would get hurt. I am a human being and I do feel after all.
You met 3 times under almost physical harm circumstances.
It was so stupid.
I quickly regretted my decision, thought I should never come to this area ever again, so I would not have a chance of running into him.
I was sure his colleagues must either be teasing him or very confused.
Then I heard some commotion behind me and I somehow managed to turn around without falling from surprise.
Keson was behind me.
“I like you too. I guess I just wanted to tell you that as well,” He smiled.
He was teasing me, and I could not return the smile because I was utterly shocked.
“You are clumsy and kind of weird, but in a good way.”
“Thanks,” I murmured.
“So…”
I looked down, embarrassed and excited at the same time.
He didn’t reject me!
That was much unexpected, and it made me happy.
But wait… he didn’t reject me.
Maybe it was because he really did like me back, or maybe he wanted a girlfriend and since conveniently a girl confessed to him, he decided to say yes.
“Okay, I got to go,” I said, with my mind running.
My legs wanted to run too.
“See you soon then?” He said.
He didn’t even know my name. How serious could he be?
“Oh wait, what is your name?” He asked.
“Royane.”
Okay, maybe he was being serious.
“See you around… I better go back before my boss scolds me,” He said and smiled.
I didn’t know if I should believe he had feeling for me. I should simply accept the fact that someone I like could actually like me back because of who I am, but I tended to overthink.
I watched him walk away, then got back on my feet.
Faster and faster, almost sprinting away.
I got home.
Exhaled and inhaled, heavily.
I was scared, excited and nervous all at once.
Maybe someone could actually reciprocate my feelings even when I act weird most of the times.
I remembered the times he showed concern towards me.
What if I never told him I liked him? Would that mean he would never say that to me? I mean, saying that to a customer out of the blue is kind of inappropriate and could affect sales and reputation. So it is understandable that he probably wouldn’t say that to me if I didn’t initiate.
I inhaled and exhaled hard, trying to calm myself and combing out my messy train of thoughts.
Maybe tomorrow, things will get better.
Should I go back and meet him? What if he really meant it and if I never showed up, his feelings would be hurt?
I had so many questions for him and myself.
I felt like it was all coming too good and too sudden.
It didn’t feel like reality, and when I realised that it was, I felt uneasy.
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©Yolanda Yip (Wintsarye)
Was it good? Or was it bad? I don’t really know.
I just know I was then standing outside the convenience store, broken deep inside, possibly desperate for love.
Keson was a kind and caring person, but did that mean he will like me in return?
It didn’t seem possible. I was just a customer who visited the store he worked in, and he probably just had to be nice. Maybe I wanted to turn his image in my mind into reality too badly.
I don’t even know. At that very moment, I felt like if I didn’t confess, I will regret my whole life (more realistically, it will just be for a while but it will still have a big impact on me).
I stepped into the store and Keson was not on duty. I went towards the back of the store and didn’t see him walking around there either.
My courage was fading, but then I saw him walk out of the storage room.
I could not support myself. I was slipping away, but I still managed to hear him say ‘hi’.
“I like you and I just wanted to tell you that. Even though I don’t really know you, I could not stop thinking about you. This is all coming very suddenly, but I just wanted you to know,” I quickly said, trying to sound coherent and on the verge of failing to do so.
He was shocked, like any normal human being would be. He was carrying a box. He put it down, and looked like he wanted to say something.
“Please don’t hurt me, I am leaving now,” I said, scared, and beginning to sprint out of the store.
I was really hoping for a rejection from him, to stop all the ongoing nonsense, since it is absolutely irrational to fall in love with a stranger you just met 3 times.
But then I didn’t want to hear his rejection because I knew I would get hurt. I am a human being and I do feel after all.
You met 3 times under almost physical harm circumstances.
It was so stupid.
I quickly regretted my decision, thought I should never come to this area ever again, so I would not have a chance of running into him.
I was sure his colleagues must either be teasing him or very confused.
Then I heard some commotion behind me and I somehow managed to turn around without falling from surprise.
Keson was behind me.
“I like you too. I guess I just wanted to tell you that as well,” He smiled.
He was teasing me, and I could not return the smile because I was utterly shocked.
“You are clumsy and kind of weird, but in a good way.”
“Thanks,” I murmured.
“So…”
I looked down, embarrassed and excited at the same time.
He didn’t reject me!
That was much unexpected, and it made me happy.
But wait… he didn’t reject me.
Maybe it was because he really did like me back, or maybe he wanted a girlfriend and since conveniently a girl confessed to him, he decided to say yes.
“Okay, I got to go,” I said, with my mind running.
My legs wanted to run too.
“See you soon then?” He said.
He didn’t even know my name. How serious could he be?
“Oh wait, what is your name?” He asked.
“Royane.”
Okay, maybe he was being serious.
“See you around… I better go back before my boss scolds me,” He said and smiled.
I didn’t know if I should believe he had feeling for me. I should simply accept the fact that someone I like could actually like me back because of who I am, but I tended to overthink.
I watched him walk away, then got back on my feet.
Faster and faster, almost sprinting away.
I got home.
Exhaled and inhaled, heavily.
I was scared, excited and nervous all at once.
Maybe someone could actually reciprocate my feelings even when I act weird most of the times.
I remembered the times he showed concern towards me.
What if I never told him I liked him? Would that mean he would never say that to me? I mean, saying that to a customer out of the blue is kind of inappropriate and could affect sales and reputation. So it is understandable that he probably wouldn’t say that to me if I didn’t initiate.
I inhaled and exhaled hard, trying to calm myself and combing out my messy train of thoughts.
Maybe tomorrow, things will get better.
Should I go back and meet him? What if he really meant it and if I never showed up, his feelings would be hurt?
I had so many questions for him and myself.
I felt like it was all coming too good and too sudden.
It didn’t feel like reality, and when I realised that it was, I felt uneasy.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
©Yolanda Yip (Wintsarye)
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